Hire me. I'm a ROCK STAR! Woooo! ROCK ON!
As a recently laid off web builder, I’ve been keeping an eye on the Craigslist job postings on a daily basis. Sometimes this leads to interesting job leads. Sometimes it’s pure entertainment. One trend I’ve noticed…
- “I’m looking for a rock star freelance visual designer to work with me on several projects…”
- “…is seeking rock star Graphic Designers to work in various parts of the Twin Cities…”
- “…and rock star developers to create comprehensive design systems…”
- “…for a rock star front end freelancer to help us keep our clients happy and their businesses growing…”
- “…maintaining a rock star appearance and pleasing smell….”
When I find a potential job lead, I then write a personal cover letter and send it in. Of course, that’s not what rock stars do. We’re too busy to deal with individual contacts like that. So I thought I’d go ahead and do a ‘open cover letter’ to all those looking for rock star web pros!
Dear Babe or Dude:
I am writing in response to your job posting looking for a Rock Star web genius. I believe I would be a good fit for your organization as I have really awesome hair and look pretty good in jeans. I’ve been building web sites for 10 years and have been hooked on heroin for the past 4. I enjoy a good jam that doesn’t necessarily go anywhere but none of the wussy ‘jazz fusion’ or ‘flash intro page’ crap. Meetings are fine as long as a bong is being passed and we don’t start before noon. I do ask that you adhere to my employment rider that is attached in lieu of a resume. Do note that I will not accept green M-n-M’s on the premises at any times. I look forward to your $10,000 advance at which time I will definitely begin maybe thinking about doing some web work for you.
Rock on. Hendrix Rules! UX 4EVER! Peace out. Later.
8 Comments
Please let me know when you find that employer!
LOVE this!!
And did you really see a job posting that required the applicant has a “pleasing smell”?
Yep, those are all verbatim quotes from various job postings in my Google Reader feed.
(Full disclosure: I exaggerated a bit. I don’t do heroin and my hair is kind of lame. But because of this post I did get a few asking for my resume. If you’re hiring, I’d love to hear from you!)
If this works even a little bit, I am going to adjust it by swapping out hard drinking for heroin and $10,000 for $7,000.
Hey man, just wanted to stop in a say – Great Cover Letter! I’m curious though; any interviews come of it? Or was this just a joke post?
)
Yea, there was a good dose of sarcasm in this post. ;o)
that cover letter reads just like my bio… dude!