Jobs You Don’t Want
Most Help Wanted job descriptions are exceptionally awful. Justifiably so – if an organization is unable to find someone they like and that likes them within their own professional circles – well, that’s scary. Scary like writing a blog post to the vastness of the universe.
Here’s some actual copy from actual (I think) job postings. All emphasis is theirs.
Just as the employer isn’t sure what to say (nothing’s worked thus far) sometimes they say too much – and and interesting backstory peaks through.
“The IA MUST be a team player who is able to collaborate with all internal teams”
Ouch. I’m suspecting the phrase “We’re not paying you to think” was used more than once before the Help Wanted sign went up.
“If you have proven skills in blogs or ‘whatever’ you may call ‘ Buzz’ generation to the proper targeted audience.”
You wield great power with your “bunny quotes”.
“This position isnt paid, but is for Equity in the company!”
Ha! Man, that’s a good one.
2 Comments
My favorite line is when they add something like this to the end:
“Must be proficient in all aspects HTML, javascript, css, SQL, asp.net, PHP, coldfusion, Windows Server, Apache, Security, accessibility, usability, project management, QuarkXPress, Adobe Illustratior, Microsoft Word, XML, XSL, P2P, AJAX, MP3, JPG and every other possible acronym and technology currently floating out there…”
When I see ads like Darrel mentions I usually make a note on the name of the company and who posted it so I can run the other direction in most cases.
Other ads that are scary sometimes are the ones that say
“other duties as assigned” or
“‘unknown’ job title will allow you to do x, y, and z”
This 2nd one is really scary to see sometime. To me it shouts we want you to do something but we don’t know what yet. It is usually followed by what Darrel had posted as well.